The Stella Syndrome
I knew you where so young
you were just a love thing and I
I just let you get a taste of my love
I let my guard down
it was only supposed to be one time oh but now we find our selves
doing it over and over and over
cause what we have is only physical
I gotta give you time to let you grow
-Faith Evans "Catching Feelings"
We have all seen the movie, some of us have even read the book, so we all know just how Stella got her groove back. Stella found her a sexy young thing to spend her long days and hot nights with. He whisked her away from all the troubles of her day to day life and loved her like she couldn't believe. This was something new to us. We were used to seeing men with women half their age, I call this the "trophy wife" syndrome? But a woman, with a boy toy? Hhhmmmm. Now it seems like it is becoming more and more common.
I can honestly admit that I have never had a serious relationship with a man that was older than me. My husband is eight months younger and all of my serious boyfriends have been younger. Not much younger, but nevertheless younger. I didn't go searching for a junior, it just happened that way. I guess I have a young spirit. I am a hiccup from 30 years old...I don't listen to jazz, I love hip-hop. I don't wanna go to see the gospel play or to the ballet, take me to a concert and let me scream. I don't wanna play bridge, I'd rather play laser tag or race go-karts. I like tattoos, I like bling. And no...missionary is not my favorite position.
What is it about a younger man that women love? Their energy? Their openness to new things? The ability to "train" them? Ok, so a couple times I got "trained"(and I loved every minute of it. That oooo weeee!!!). Is it that they keep up with the latest trends, whether its music or fashion? What is it about an older woman that some men love? The experience? Maturity? I would love to hear from the men who read this.
In my experiences, I will tell you what I don't like about dating younger men. It has to be their tempers...wooo wheeee. Nothing like a young hot head. They can come with fire, and boy does that burn! In some cases, I have been told that younger men are also a little more jealous and insecure. I've never experienced this myself, but I have heard some nightmare stories about that "crazy..deranged" younger man.
Honestly, I think more women would date younger men if they were not worried about what "society" would say. Family, friends, co-workers. We tend to live more for what people think than for what we want. Crazy huh? But its true.
I got several requests to talk about this topic, so lets give these folks our opinions. Women, could you be in a relationship with a younger man? If so, how much younger? Men, could you fall for an older woman? If so, how much older? What do you prefer and why? Lets discuss this.
posted by Mz Cane at 8:40 AM
8 Comments:
I am a few months shy of 30 and I fell for a man 6 years my junior. I have to say it was the most exciting time of my life!!! I never felt more alive. He was spontanious and adventureous. He had me doing things I never thought I would do in places I never thought I would do them in. It got to the point where I craved this man, all I did was sit around and wonder what he was doing and what we could be doing together. When we met my husband and I had just separated. Yougon was just so refreshing he started that fire back in me that my husband put out. But I had to end it, I have to admit that I could not handle what "everyone else" would think about me separating from my husband and running straight into the arms of a 22 year old. It took me almost a year to get over him and I still don't think I have completely let go. But I guess it is better this way..
I have dated a man 11 year my junior. We dated off and on for about 3 years. We are still best of friends. Between the sheets, things were hot. I am a witness, you can teach an old dog new tricks. He was open and willing to please, sexually. He was fun, lots of fun. He was very open to do different things. He had me doing new things. We never had the temper thing going on between us. We did not mesh what society thinks, I don't think this man owned a pair of dress pants. It was always the big jeans, t-shirt down to his knees and tims or sneakers. He had braids down his back. That was kinda sexy....but I can't take him to my office Christmas party, my cousin's wedding, etc. He wasn't set in his ways, like alot of men my age (I am short of 50). No, Mz. Cane, no all mature folks are trying to go to the ballet or gospel play. Our outlook on life did not fall on the same page. He was not as serious abut life as I. It was a definite pick me up and I would do it again.
Wow,here we go.Yes I am seeing a younger man 17 years my junior. What I see in him? The way he touches me. The way he says just what I want to hear. The secrets. Oh yeah, the secrets. The endurance. Society, my family, doesn't bother me. What I feel for this man goes beyond that. He calls me often, two, three times a day just to say hello. We have talked on the phone for hours, yes, phone sex was involved as well. He is very mature for his age, but yet has the boyish qualities that I love. When we are together it's not all about sex. It's about cuddling, cooking, watching TV, talking, I mean really communicating. He works,very hard worker. Not in the situation for money. Neither of us are rich nor poor but money is never an issue. It's about the mutual understanding and the "can say anything, talk about anything" thing going on. We have not used the "L" word yet, but there is potential.
I was afraid at first, thinking of what family and friends would say. But he reassured me that didn't matter. Age meant nothing to him. It was the person. Age, race, weight, none of that is important to him. Just the person, the inner person. I have been told I am a sexy woman by a lot of YOUNGER men. So they must see something that men my age don't see, A GOOD WOMAN!
So I say if you are thinking about the younger man situation,don't. Make YOURSELF happy. Society will look down on you for all reasons, but when society start taking care of me then they can judge. Family will say some things like, "are you crazy" "why" "you can't find a man you own age" but then again, when family start taking care of me, then they too can judge.
Me, I am loving my YOUNGER MAN.
I was 18, she was 26. I had just started college and she was right there with me- cooking meals, turning me out on a regular basis, and not jealous of me hanging wit the boys. I was loving the attention we got when we were out cause everybody would stare at this attractive woman and young boy and wonder "what the hell is she doing with him?" It was wonderful.
Looking back on the situation now, I realized that the reason I was sooo attracted to her was because she was so different than the young, silly, immature chicks I had kicked it with in highschool (even though I was sillier and more immature than all of them combined). I knew that I had to talk and act a certain way (more grown-up) around my "womanfriend" and she really made me feel like a man. It really helped me grow up and mature much quicker than some of my boys (or so I thought).
To this day we are still very cool and both of us hold a special place in the others heart.
I dated a guy 5 years younger than me. Boy was it great. I was just getting out of a long term realtionship that had turned abusive. I know now why this guy was soo special even though he was younger. SOme of you may say timing was critical here, but that wasnt it. He looked up to me, was eager to please, and willing to learn. He wanted to do evrything to ensure that our time together was off the hook. That made for lots of great sex. (The fact that he was hung like a horse helped too.)So for me, the younger man factor has always been about younger guys being more attentive because they kinda view older women as Mother figures. We all know how men like to please their mothers. I've had several other encounters with younger men and the same thing held true. To sum it up.............I love me a younger man!
I am surprised there are not more comments out here on this subject. I see this more and more each day. And me being an older woman I love it. Yes I got me a younger man, 18 years younger and my God is he the SHIT! And when I wear him out, I will get yet another young man cause right now I don't think a man my age or older can do what this young man does for me, mentally or physically.
I luv older women, no babies to worry about. With a woman that age, you don't have to worry about her getting pregnant. That biological clock ticking and wishing to walk down the aisle. She is comfortable with herself. A women 40 plus knows where has her life pretty much figured out. She is not insecure, she is a real woman. You are not constantly reassuring her, having to be up it her face 24-7, she has her own friends, her own thoughts, her own likes and dislikes, she is flexible and the list goes on. Sexually speaking an older more mature woman knows what she wants in bed and is willing to try something new. She is adventurous. I can put it on my baby and she never hollers uncle. Where Stella at?
Being married for almost nine years, I didn't know what to expect once we separated. Yes, I have an appetite for sex and at the time I was looking for just that...and no strings. Well, I'm not proud to say it; but I was hooked on Yahoo and meeting guys. Anyways, I've met both younger and older lovers. For the most part, with the exception of one (who fell asleep after I did all the work), the younger lovers were off the chain. They could go on all night long and were damn good. I met this one guy on yahoo (3 years younger than me) on a Sunday nite . He called me on the phone at 11pm and we talked until 7am Monday morning... yes, I had to go to work. After work, he met me at my house and we had fabulous sex all nite and morning long. Who needs sleep?! Tuesday was rough; but I dealt with it... and the following weekend I drove to Charlotte where he lived and we had a sex filled weekend. He was my 1st after my ex and the ones that followed him were better and better. The younger men are more attentive; emotionally and sexually.
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