What is Sexy?
Last night I watched a rerun of Americas Next Top Model. I sat there thinking, out of all these girls only one or two of them are attractive. Then I flipped over and Jaime Foxx was being interviewed on some red carpet for some premiere. I thought..hhmm, he's sexy, but not cute at all. How is that possible? So I began to ponder on this topic? What is sexy?
As I found out last night, sexy is not necessarily fine or even cute. Sexy is an attitude. An aura about someone. I think there are two types of sexy. Physical sexiness and sexy as a state of mind. From the physical side, I love mysterious eyes. Dreamy eyes. If he has long eyelashes to compliment them, even better! And what about the lips? Thick luscious lips. Thick lips ooze sex appeal. (Not too thick though, LeVar Burton..is not hot, in any form of the word!) I am a sucker for sexy lips and eyes. All my closet friends know that when I met the hubby (that's him in the pic), I was all about his dark eyes and his perfect lips. And the fact that he was a thick guy in general sealed the deal. Don't give me no skinny man! Can't do nothing with him. I am plus-size pimping at its finest, so a skinny man is not gonna do me any good! Even when I was much smaller in high school and college, I always dated people from the football team. I like the way they looked, you know..healthy..fed..$hit if, he was eating, I know I would be too!
Now as for the physical, sexiness can be added. How? I am so glad you asked that question. A little something my cuz and I like to call "The Baseball Cap Effect". Everyone man look at least 75% better with a baseball cap. Well that was until Fabolous started that circus hat trend and didn't brim his hat. A fresh fitted his hot, but not if I can sit my drink on the brim and come back for it an hour later... Brim the damn hat. Tattoos can add sexy, in the right places..please don't come looking like a 5-year olds easel. Drawings everywhere. A nice watch, glasses (for the psuedo-intelligent effect)...all pluses.
Physical sexiness is far less superior to mental sexiness.
But what is the sexiest of all? Intelligence and confidence. A man who knows that he knows alot, but not everything. Can he talk about more than the latest music and the score of the game? If he can be intellectually stimulating then many times the rest may fall into place. As for confidence, a man who is comfortable with who he is and holds his head high. I love it! He may look like a roach with an earring, but if he feels sexy, then he is doing it up. Who is going to think you're sexy if you don't?
Luckily I married into all that. And when we step out, we know we look good.
Now I have not always been this way. I used to have the lowest self-esteem imaginable. I was 145lbs with a great figure and a 4.0 gpa. But I never thought I was pretty, and I damn sure knew I wasn't sexy. I actually thought I was fat, at 145lbs! I had a friend that used to tell me to get it together, that I was beautiful, and the he didn't wanna hear that bull. Funny thing is, I didn't feel sexy until I was wearing a size 16. The size didn't matter, my weight didn't matter, it was my attitude, my confidence. I accepted my curves and worked them! Now, there is not a person out there that can tell me I ain't the $hit.
Sexy is a state of mind...
Discussion time. What is sexy to you? What is more important to you, the way he/she looks or the way he/she carries themselves? Be honest, we can all be shallow at times and if that's you then be you.
As I found out last night, sexy is not necessarily fine or even cute. Sexy is an attitude. An aura about someone. I think there are two types of sexy. Physical sexiness and sexy as a state of mind. From the physical side, I love mysterious eyes. Dreamy eyes. If he has long eyelashes to compliment them, even better! And what about the lips? Thick luscious lips. Thick lips ooze sex appeal. (Not too thick though, LeVar Burton..is not hot, in any form of the word!) I am a sucker for sexy lips and eyes. All my closet friends know that when I met the hubby (that's him in the pic), I was all about his dark eyes and his perfect lips. And the fact that he was a thick guy in general sealed the deal. Don't give me no skinny man! Can't do nothing with him. I am plus-size pimping at its finest, so a skinny man is not gonna do me any good! Even when I was much smaller in high school and college, I always dated people from the football team. I like the way they looked, you know..healthy..fed..$hit if, he was eating, I know I would be too!
Now as for the physical, sexiness can be added. How? I am so glad you asked that question. A little something my cuz and I like to call "The Baseball Cap Effect". Everyone man look at least 75% better with a baseball cap. Well that was until Fabolous started that circus hat trend and didn't brim his hat. A fresh fitted his hot, but not if I can sit my drink on the brim and come back for it an hour later... Brim the damn hat. Tattoos can add sexy, in the right places..please don't come looking like a 5-year olds easel. Drawings everywhere. A nice watch, glasses (for the psuedo-intelligent effect)...all pluses.
Physical sexiness is far less superior to mental sexiness.
But what is the sexiest of all? Intelligence and confidence. A man who knows that he knows alot, but not everything. Can he talk about more than the latest music and the score of the game? If he can be intellectually stimulating then many times the rest may fall into place. As for confidence, a man who is comfortable with who he is and holds his head high. I love it! He may look like a roach with an earring, but if he feels sexy, then he is doing it up. Who is going to think you're sexy if you don't?
Luckily I married into all that. And when we step out, we know we look good.
Now I have not always been this way. I used to have the lowest self-esteem imaginable. I was 145lbs with a great figure and a 4.0 gpa. But I never thought I was pretty, and I damn sure knew I wasn't sexy. I actually thought I was fat, at 145lbs! I had a friend that used to tell me to get it together, that I was beautiful, and the he didn't wanna hear that bull. Funny thing is, I didn't feel sexy until I was wearing a size 16. The size didn't matter, my weight didn't matter, it was my attitude, my confidence. I accepted my curves and worked them! Now, there is not a person out there that can tell me I ain't the $hit.
Sexy is a state of mind...
Discussion time. What is sexy to you? What is more important to you, the way he/she looks or the way he/she carries themselves? Be honest, we can all be shallow at times and if that's you then be you.
posted by Mz Cane at 8:38 AM
12 Comments:
Wow.. Mz. Cane I like this. Sexy is a totally state of mine. For those who know me I have a thing for tall me. Sexy is all about the way you carry your self. I think a mn is sexy when his presence is commnading, how he walks, how he talks, thats sexy. I has nothing to do with a mans face. Its his essence, there are men that I think are sexy, who are not fine. I define sexiness like you would do a bottle of perfume or colonge, when u smell it, what does it make u think about. I never thought I was the prettiest, but by far I think I am the sexiness, because I have great self-esteem, and I am confident in the type of person that am.
Sexy is a State of Mind
Mz Cane,
Very interesting topic. I agree sexy is a state of mind. I have been plus size all my life and at my biggest at size 26 I was still sexy. Now that I am down to a 20 I am at the utmost full of sexiness. But not because of my size but because I am intelligent and I can hold a decent conversation with a man & they are very attracted to that. I think even when I was bigger I never had problem getting or keeping a man. "Different strokes for different folks"..
Now my idea of sexy man falls in line with yours. I love a football type looking man. Even if they do not play ball. I think I have always been attracted to these types but I didn't realize it until about 5 years ago. I have dated slim & short but I WANT tall and thick now. There is nothing like a manly man (lol). He of course has to be able to have a conversation about anything with me and be able to be very open with everything. Ironically, I have this connection with my "What If" Love". Now as far as the roach with an earring, I have also learned that I can not and will not date anything that is not remotely decent in the face no matter what he wears. I will give him his props but I WILL keep it moving.....
Let's face if your sexy, know it. If you know it, LOVE it!!
The "baseball cap effect" is so true. A lot of men can look real good with a cap on but when it's off, things change drastically. I don't know why that it is but it's a fact. I have no problem asking a man to take off his hat so I can get the full effect.
For me, sexy is more than just the way a man looks. It's all about his persona and swagger. A sexy man is a man that I can respect and that others will respect. One that has confidence. He is intellectual and can have a decent conversation. He holds his own in any situation, takes charge, holds me down, and can lay it down. That's sexy. I just want to know that he is all man. He can't be a wuss, punk, soft,timid... none of that. Even a nerdy dude can ramp up the testosterone if need be. As for the physical my taste varies so it's a matter of if I like it when I see it, than that's sexy. I will say that a man that is shorter than me will never be sexy to me. If I feel like I'm walking with a child there is no way that will work.
Sexy is anything that evokes an attraction, mental, physical or spiritual. My preference is to find sexiness in a man instead of him handing it to me. I do know I'm turned off by the stripper or Hollywood sexy (i.e., licking your lips a hundred times, exaggerating the bedroom stare, flinching you muscles). That's corny and too easy to do.
I like want to see what everybody’s opinions is on this topic. So what is sexy? Well, Webster definition of sexy is: generally attractive or interesting. To me sexy is an attitude it is how a person feels or carries themselves. Sexy is different to everybody what I think is sexy the next person may not think is sexy. I like women that are comfortable with themselves not always trying to make sure they have on make-up and pumps. If you can look good in some sweats and t-shirt and still know you are the stuff I love it. I like simple things yeah sure you can dress up, but just be cozy. I use to go by looks, but it seems the girl with the looks had the big head and that is not sexy at all. Man I thought I would have been shallower than this lol.
In the past, sexy to me was the typical physical looks. You know the tall basketball player type "pretty boy" and I felt that in order for me to be sexy then I had to be that thin "cheerleader" type. Now that I am almost 30 and the sexiest bitch I know, that is no longer the case. I am a thick size 14 who gets more than enough attention from men. And the men that I find sexy now has changed as well. Infact I like them thick, Thick and thought provoking.I like a man who can stimulate my mind as well as my body. There is nothing sexier to me than a thick Ice Cube looking brotha who can debate current events in a baseball cap while listening to a Young Jeezy CD... You know what I'm talking about don't cha Mz Cane!!!
oh hells yeah...an appreciation for Young Jeezy and T.I. is sexy Fa Sho..
Southern comfort...
Which brings me to an additional question? Is thug appeal sexy?
Sexy? Hmmm....Sexy to me is a man who knows he is the Shit but never displays it openly. He displays it in private. When he walks into the room and sees you and smiles and you know why he is smiling...damn, that's SEXY! When he calls you just to say "has anyone told you today you are sexy and beautiful". Damn, that is sexy. When he says that I love you no matter what size you are...if you choose to stay the way you are, I support you or if you choose to lose weight, I support you. Damn, that is sexy. Sexy is calling you, talking a few minutes, calling you back and then calling you again, in the same day. Sexy is the look, the stance, the walk, the movements that turns you on, that makes you want, to long for. Sexy is not just handsome, beautiful, gorgeous it's also charisma, poise, intellect and spiritual. Sexy is mental and physical. And the mental makes it physical!!
Another interesting topic. I have never been attracted to a man's physical appearance. I am attracted to the personality. I think a sexy man is someone who exudes confidence and has a great personality and sense of humor. Don't get me wrong. I think Boris, Morris, and LL are handsome. Fine even. But not sexy. I have dated short men (5'3"), tall men (6'7"), darkskinned, lightskinned, athletic men, pudgy men, cute men, "WTF was I thinking" looking men, and no matter what their physical appearance was they all possessed some of the same qualities...confidence, personality, and sense of humor. And to me all of the were DEAD SEXY (well, at least at THAT time).
I haven't always thought that I was sexy. I have two beautiful sisters. Growing up when compared to them I always thought I would run a distant 3rd. At least I thought that until a few years ago. I usually don't go out my way to make myself sexy. Don't like to dress up (jeans and t-shirt type of gal). Hate doing my hair (pony tails are fine with me). Make up?? (nah, only eyeliner...maybe some gloss). I am currently a size 16 (largest I've ever been) and at one point I struggled with accepting my size. Once I accepted my size and started carrying myself like I was more than "aight looking" I started feeling a bit sexy. And guys started noticing that too! I've gotten more compliments on my looks the past 2 years than I have gotten my entire life. I look the same but I definitely carry myself differently. And now how do I feel I stack up to my two sisters? I personally think that I'm the hottest now. Just my opinion but right now thats what matters most to me.
Hmmm, sexy to me is a confident man. He should know how to put an outfit together whether we are going out to dinner, a corporate function, or to a club. I, too, like a man that can hold an intelligent conversation without swearing. Don't take this the wrong way, but sexy to me is a man that is not afraid to share is faith. Sexy to me is any man over the age of 25 that owns a few nice suits, a nice watch, and nice shoes. It's not sexy to be mid-thirties and your shoes look mid-fifties. Call me shallow, but I knows what I likes!
Oh yeah, I didn't know you were married to Quante!
Being sexy can be physical or mental. However, there is one thing it can't be, TAUGHT. You can't learn to be sexy. You are definately born that way. It is something you simply can't help being. More importantly, it is something you yourself can not determine. It is how you are perceived by others. I know everybody knows someone who swears they are, and they are as sexy as a three legged cat with the runs. And truly sexy people, believe it or not, are not even aware that they are sexy. Because its like breathing, totally natural.
I've been a big girl all my life, so I used to have low self esteem. Now, I know better. Just because I'm 'big' for my size doesn't mean I can't look good. Regardless of the retail stores, I can purchase clothing (including lingerie) that makes me feel oh so so so sexy. Yes, I wear thongs. They aren't very comfortable; but make me feel sexy. My current boyfriend makes me feel so sexy when he tells me that I'm beautiful and he wants me. I love it when he tells me I'm sexy and it doesn't matter what size I am.
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