The Human Stain...
Fill me with your joy so new
So I can show my love for You
This joy I have is real and true
For all my sins are washed away
Yes all my sins are washed away
The pain I felt so deep inside
The tears I could no longer hide
There's joy now cause' You're by my side
Yes all my sins are washed away
Yes all my sins are washed away
Washed away
Gone astray
For all my sins are washed away
Yes all my sins are washed away
- Kirk Franklin "Washed Away"
We all have stains. Things in our life that cannot be washed away. Or at least washed away with Tide or Cheer or Woolite. Nothing with bleach alternative can rinse us of.
I just found out that a friend of mine from college is now the Pastor of a church. A leader, a spiritual leader for a flock. And even though I hate to admit it, the first thing I thought of was how he used to flirt and chase women and party hard. How in the hell could he direct someone to Christ? Then I thought of my husband's friend, who now lives for the Lord. The same person who after a near death experience smoked weed through a trachea in his windpipe. At the time I thought he should be praising the Lord for being alive he was acting like it was not a privilege just to be here. But now...he leads to Christ as well. Sad to say the first thing I thought of when I heard about the new plights of both of these guys was "Who in the hell left the gate open?"
I have done many things I am too ashamed to admit, both now and when I was younger. I have run with the wild bunch. Been a "fast ass". Hung with the hoods. "Smoke, drink, and dance the hoochie-coo", that's what the old folks would say. Does that mean that I can't be a good wife now? Can I not be a great mother? Am I not a role model? Christ says if I repent today, my yesterday is non-existent. I will be reborn. Can my resurrection not start now?
Timing for awakeness is not always up to us. Shouldn't I have wanted to be a better person and live right when he spared the life of my daughter? Or maybe when he took my grandparents ten days apart? Why now do I wanna be a better person?
Truth is, Christ can know my heart, my changes, my new life, but humanity will turn a blind eye to my neo persona. Why is it that humans are so judgmental about a past? Will OJ always be the killer? Will Michael Jackson always be the pedophile? Will Tookie Williams always be the murderous gang banger? Will I always be Candee?
So weigh in...why is it that we can never let go of a person's past? What makes us better? After all isn't a Saint a sinner who fell down and got back up again?
posted by Mz Cane at 7:23 PM
3 Comments:
If God forgives us because we ask Him to forgive us, we must work to be like Him. It ain't easy, though. We forget the scriptures that tell us to "judge not lest ye be judged," and "vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay." I don't know why we do that, but I'm going to keep on working at trying to overcome that silly and dangerous quirk for the rest of my days.
What I sometimes forget is that God uses the people who we think he can't change to show how powerful he is. He turned Saul, the Christian slayer, into Paul the apostle. God forgives everyone. Those who have more sins washed away tend to appreciate God more.
Could it be that we do a double take over the drastic changes in the lives of others because such changes emphasize our personal unwillingness to accept that we too can change? Or could it be that we hold on to the image of what people used to be like to comfort ourselves over not being "so bad"? Either way, we make the choice.
I believe in change and spiritual evolution because we are sentient beings placed on this earth with a devine purpose. I believe God gives us many opportunities to have those "light bulb" moments that change the direction of our lives. Sometimes small things are the catalyst for change, other times it takes the realization of our own mortality to make us value the gift of life and our impact on the lives of others.
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