Dropping The N-Bomb

you complain about being black,
when they mad cuz they can't be black no mo'
so many black men out here trying to be niggers
keeping it real to the point that they dying to be niggers
when in actuality the fact is you ain't a nigger because you black
you a nigger cause of how you act
but, you don't want me to tell you the truth, so I'ma lie to you
make it sound fly to you huh, huh,
you don't wanna hear the truth, so I'ma lie to you
make it sound fly to you, shit
The nigger experience

- Goodie Mob "The Experience"

We (African -Americans) have gone from white folks calling us niggers in a derogatory fashion to calling each other niggas in a homeboy mentality. Every rap song, every comedian, walking down the street, or even in our homes, we hear the word nigger used in some way each and every day. Nigga please, What up my nigga ... these are common expressions in 2006. Lets turn the clock back forty years, what would the freedom fighters of that age think of us using this word so freely?

So why the change? Have we merely taken possession of the word and made it our own? OR are we justifying its use? I have heard two very different sides of this debate. One side saying that we must erase this word from our vocabulary. Banish it. It is and always will be a racial slur. The other argument being the n-word is only negative if we let it be. If other races can see we are not affected by it, then it has no impact. These are the persons who have taken ownership of the word for black culture. This is who uses it to be synonymous with "guy" or "man". A term of endearment.

Personally, I would like to let it go. It doesn't bother me to hear it; however, I would prefer to be called lady or woman, shit even black... I must say, I am guilty of saying it on a casual basis every now and then. When I use it, I use it in the Chris Rock sense of the word. You know what I mean. He says "Love my black people, hate my niggas". Meaning, black people are fine, but the ghetto folks that make us look bad have got to go! I am sure white people and hispanics have similar issues within their own races, we just don't hear them discuss it as openly as we do. I have never seen a white person call another white person a cracker or a honky, never seen a mexican call another one a spic. Why is that? I will tell you that I have heard a white person call another white guy a wigger on more than one occasion. Is this supposed to be an insult? I think so.

Another question I have for you guys is this... is it okay for your close white friends to say it? (You know like Kelisha, we love her!) It is so funny how so much depends on who says it. When Fat Joe says it, we turn our heads and keep rocking to the song, but when J-Lo says it, we are ready to boycott. They are both Puerto Rican, they were both referring to their "homeboys". Where is the difference?

So weigh in...what does the "N-word" mean to you? Are you disturbed by it? Does it not faze you? If you are one of my three caucasians readers, what are your thoughts on the use of the n-word?

The Art of War

Every time you scream at me
I wanna kiss you
When you put your hands on me
I wanna touch you
When we get to arguing
Just gotta kiss you
Baby, I don't know why it's like that
But you're just so damn sexy
When you're mad

- Ne-yo "When You're Mad"

Tonight, has not been that great for me. For reasons we won't discuss, I'm pissed off. There are two people in particular that can smooch the booty right about now. My father always told me never to go to sleep mad, it will interrupt your rest. Or even worse, what happens if you don't get up at all. So here I am, writing the blog, typing fast, face all scrunched up. When I am mad Candance The Mommy" goes away and Candee that bitch from around the way comes out. I curse, and I curse bad when I am heated. Its like a switch flips and I become another person. The funny thing is, some of you that know me personally don't think I can get rowdy when I need to. I know at least one of you thinks I am a pushover.

Why is it when you are pissed off the most, that's when the most people call?
Why is it when you are pissed off, everyone else wants to be all lovey dovey?
Why is it when you are pissed off everyone wants to see how far to that edge they can push you until you skydive over the cliff?
Why is it when you are pissed off, everyone else looks so damn happy? Happy cheery bastards.

Writing is a release for me. When I have something on my mind, I love nothing more that putting it on paper, or on the internet in this case. The funniest thing I do when I'm angry, I clean. I close my mouth and just get to it. No need to talk, words poison arrow heads waiting to sting the next person. I really wish I was one of those people who worked out when they were mad, to release stress. I would love to punch. I think I could go eight rounds with Oscar De La Hoya right now. All while barking like I was DMX. lol..yes I am heated.

Quick tempers get people in trouble. Quick tempers get people shot. Quick tempers get people fired. Quick tempers leave you lonely. Just writing this little bit has made me feel better already. I know this is not that exciting, but tonight this was therapy for me, not entertainment for you. Because right now I'm not really thinking about you. Sorry!

So weigh in...What's your prescription for pisstivity? When you are angry what is your out?

Unintentional Intolerance

I've been wonderin' why
People livin' in fear
Of my shade
(Or my hi top fade)
I'm not the one that's runnin'
But they got me one the run
Treat me like I have a gun
All I got is genes and chromosomes
Consider me Black to the bone
All I want is peace and love
On this planet
(Ain't that how God planned it?)

- Public Enemy "Fear of a Black Planet"

I leave my nice home in the morning for work, at the stop light I purposely turn my music down when I pull up beside an older white couple. I get to work at least ten minutes early and put on my "professional" voice. I wear the suit, no business casual for me. For lunch, I order my usual sushi favorite, and I leave a gracious tip.

It seems as I get older, I go out of my way not to be that angry black woman that everyone expects me to be. And the funny thing is, I'm not her. There are some many stereotypes that blacks face, black women especially, and I usually don't fit any of them. Does this mean I am "acting" white?

America the beautiful, land of the free , home of the brave. However, how can I be completely free, when I am constantly be stereotyped. This country is the largest melting pot in the world. All of us are different, diverse, and each of us come from a beautiful legacy. So why is it, we never see the richness of each other's heritages, only the modern day "judgments" we put on one another?

We all are guilty of stereotyping. Everyone has done it, whether or not we admit it. Positive grouping is called "generalizations", while negative bunching is called stereotyping. Every culture has their own negative misconceptions. Here is a list of the few that I have heard...

Blacks are lazy.
Blacks are aggressive.
Black are always late. Hence the phrase "CP (colored people) Time".
Blacks have bad credit.
Blacks only have "baby daddies".
Blacks love fried chicken and watermelon.
Whites cannot dance.
Whites love mayonnaise.
Mexicans pack too many people in a car and/or a house.
Mexicans are migrant workers.
Mexicans stab people.
Mexicans don't have licenses and/or car insurance.
Italians are in the mafia.
Italians curse more than everyone else.
Muslims are terrorist.
Jews are cheap.
Catholics are drunks.
Asians cannot drive.
Japanese are obsessed with techie gadgets.
Vietnamese people eat cats and dogs.

Have you noticed that the ones about white Americans are not really that bad? Is it because they are making them all up? lol... I knew there was a problem when I overheard some folks say "Mexicans are the new blacks". Damn...

So weigh in...are stereotypes racist? Which ones really annoy you about your race? Did I leave out any that have crossed your mind about other ethninticities?

Disclaimer
The comments expressed on the blog are that of the individual giving his/her opinions. Nothing will be used against anyone at a later date...No grudges will be held. We are just speaking about our own individual "ignorance".

I..I..I the Pappy

Yesterday here in North Raleigh, we had a terrible thunderstorm. It is now Friday morning at 5:35 am and I just got power. It has been out since around 6:00 pm. So because I have a full-time job, and I have to get dressed in 25 min...this will be short and sweet. To make matters even worse, I have no clue what I am going to talk about today...so when this happens, do you know where I go for topic ideas? Back to "Confessions". Lmao..sad but true. So let me go pick something to talk about...and if this was your confession..my bad, just look at it as you were helping me out! Maybe you can give us some insight later. :)

Baby mama love (that's what it is)
See I be damn if i let my son call another man Daddy
And if u feel like i feel, that's baby mama love
I don't wanna be with her, but i just can't stand to see her with no body else
I know it's bad but i can't help myself
Baby mama love
See I be damn if i let my son call another man Daddy
And if u feel like i feel, that's baby mama love
I don't wanna be with her, but i just can't stand to see her with nobody else
I know it's bad but i can't help myself
Baby mama love

- N2U "Baby Mama Love"

April 29th @ 9:59 am Anonymous said...

Here's a confession for those wanting something really juicy. I don't know who the father of my child is. My husband thinks the child is his but there is a 50% chance that my ex-boyfriend is the father. I think both have their suspicions.

Live and direct straight from the set of Maury, Jerry Springer, Montel, or Jenny Jones (Tyra and Oprah are too deep for this). I must say that I truly feel for her and her situation, the sad thing is, sweetie you are not alone in this struggle. This situation is becoming commonplace, as witnessed on the shows mentioned above. There used to be a time where the phrase "because he's a man" was synonymous with infidelity; however, as seen on "Confessions", more and more women are becoming the ones who step out on their boyfriends and husbands. Indiscretion is no longer a man's thing, but more so a human thing. And it seems it is more prevalent than ever. It's in the songs we listen to and the shows we watch! Take for example Young and the Restless, there are two instance of this same situation being played out right now! Neil just found out Lily was not his daughter and now Phyllis is not sure whether Nick or Jack is her baby's daddy.

Ok, back to Anonymous and her current situation. I guess there is one main decision you must make - To tell or not to tell. I don't know the players involved, but I ASSume the situations would play out like this...If you tell hubby, you risk your marriage and your family being disrupted. If you tell ex-boyfriend, he may want to raise his child. Most men (not all but most) would not volunteer to raise a child, especially since she is already in another relationship, but because there is history there, the situation may play out a little different. Would you let your child call another man daddy? Those are the risks with telling the truth.

What would happen if you didn't say a word? Well, if the baby looks more like you than your hubby, not much would happen I guess. But Lord..if that child grows up to look like the boyfriend. DAMN!!! Tough break nucca...I guess the thing then is, does the hubby know what boyfriend looks like. Then also, if there is any issue of paternity down the line, she would risk hurting the child for not having a chance to growing up with his/her daddy.

I know alot of folks did not read this confession, it was two days into the post when most of us had moved on (I have lots of readers who go back and post over the weekends to play "catch-up"). I think this one only got like one or two responses, so lets discuss. She may need our help. Weigh in...what in the hell would you do in this situation? Tell them? Keep the secret? From the man's point of view, if you were the hubby or the boyfriend, what would you want her to do?

Color Me Bad...

He is my King, He is my one
Yes he's my father, Yes he's my son
I can talk to him, cuz he understands
Everything I go through and everything I am
That's my support system, I can't live without him
The best thing since sliced bread,
Is his kiss, his hugs, his lips, his touch
And I just want the whole world to know, about my..

Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true
Black Brotha, strong brotha, there is no - one above ya
I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true

- Angie Stone "Brother"

Angie says "I'm here for you, forever true". And she ain't never lied. I love a black man. They are strong, sexy, intelligent, and powerful in many ways. They appreciate diversity. Maybe that's why so many of them, don't want us anymore, but no matter what, we still want them. Like Angie said, "Forever true".

For ages black men have been quick to date outside there race. From the early days of Mandingo to the modern world of Taye Diggs. They are not ashamed nor intimidated to step outside of African decent for love, sex, or just companionship. And guess what, I ain't mad at 'em. I have never been one to say "why he with that white girl" or "what a waste" when I see him with one.

Rather this, my issue is with black women today. How often do we see a black women dating outside of her race? And tell the truth, when you do see it, you're like "You better go girl". What are we so afraid of? I dated a white guy once. He was great in every way, but for other reasons we had to part ways. Do we feel as if we are betraying our ancestors if we holler at Chad, or Miguel, or Tran? It took a movie starring Sanaa Lathan for some of us to even think about it. Why is that? Maybe we are not attracted to other races. Maybe we like the chocolate tones that we have at home. Or is it that black men are really "bigger". lol

Maybe its not us at all. Maybe its that the men from these diverse backgrounds don't find us attractive. This is hard for me to believe. We are beautiful. Full figures, full lips, breathtaking hues. How could they not want us? There are websites (www.afroromance.com) and organizations geared towards these romances (I saw it on Oprah). You gonna let a man like Brad Pitt pass you by? I have heard that most of these "other" men think of black women as a hidden sexual desires. In Monster's Ball, Billy Bob Thorton's character's dad tell Halle plainly, "You ain't a man until you spilt black open".

So weigh in...why are black women so hesitant to date men from other cultures? Do we feel as if we are betraying our heritage or is it that no one wants to take a chance on us?

Quiet Stormin'

I don't wanna stop just because
People standin' 'round watchin' us
I don't give a damn what they think
I want you now
I don't wanna stop just because
You feel so good inside of my love
I'm not gonna to stop no no no
I want you all i wanna say is

Any time, and any place
I don't care who's around
Any time, and any place
I don't care who's around

-Janet Jackson "Anytime, Anyplace"

I was sitting here brainstorming about what to write about tonight. I decided to turn on the radio to help me think, because a good song always has a story line in it. I turned on Foxy and the music just took me away. The song that was playing was "You and me girl..go along way back" by Bloodstone. They don't make music like that anymore. I know I'm young, I'll be 30 next year, but I love old school slow jams. I am a big fan of the Quiet Storm. The slow music used to be so good. It told stories...stories of pain and despair, stories of new love and love making. Remember when we used to make "booty tapes", to play when you knew you would be getting some. I've always said that sex is better with a soundtrack.

Man, I sat here thinking of all the good old slow songs, and tried to think if any of the ones out now could even compare. Nope. Not even close. We have some artists that sound like the old favorites, but just can't write songs like they used to. Jahiem sounds like Teddy Pendergrass, but he can't pull off "Turn off the Lights" and Mary J can sing...but she can't get Rose Royce on "I'm Going Down". From Earth, Wind, and Fire to Mint Condition, from to Don Hathaway and Luther to Usher and Kem. And yes, I must say the men did get down a little better than the women. Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, Brian McKnight, Babyface, Guy. A man's voice moves you, soothes you. A vocal massage.

To me I can hear a slow jam and tell you exactly what was going on in my life at that time. Funny huh? When I hear, Boyz to Men's "Water Runs Dry" I think of me and Ben Peete kissing for the first time in his GMC Jimmy in the 11th grade after the last basketball game of the season. His braces cut my lip, ouch. Everytime I hear Joe's "The Things Your Man Won't do". I picture myself back in 1996 in my little geo storm driving to Goldsboro, to see my boyfriend Sean. When I hear Luther and Cheryl Lynn's "If This World Were Mine", I think of me and the hubby cuddling and play singing to each other. We think we can blow...A regular Ceefus and Reecie.

Lets talk about my all-time favorite slow jam. No its not Luther or Freddie or Teddy or Al. Its actually by a woman. My favorite slow song of all-time has got to be "Anytime, Anyplace" by Janet Jackson. The song is pure melodic seduction. I love its message. That I am so into you, I could careless who is around, who is watching us. Just don't stop. The music is hypnotic, there was rain in the beginning of the song and the end. Thunderstorms are so sexy. In addition, the video was hot, even though the dude was scary looking (remember those braids sticking up in that ball on his head - ahhh!).

So weigh in...what's your all-time favorite slow jam or slow jam artist? Why did the song move you so much? Is there a memory there?


Yes, this is a topic you actually don't have to post anonymous on! lol

Oh Lord!

Who gave u permission to rearrange me
Certainly not me
Who told you that it was alright to love me
Certainly not me

I was not looking for no love affair
And now you wanna fix me
I was not looking for no love affair
And now you want to mold me
Was not looking for no love affair
Now you wanna kiss me
Was not looking for no love affair
And now you wanna control me

- Erykah Badu "Certainly"

The Scenario
So you are single and ready to mingle. Then you meet him. He's the perfect height, the perfect build, got the perfect job, no kids! He's interested in you too, but then there is something else he has to let you know upfront...no he's not gay, he's a Jehovah's Witness.

So you take a sigh of relief, that's not that bad. Or is it? He still believes in Jesus and God, right? So you begin to date. It's nice. You wanna go to the movies but he has to do his mission work on Saturdays. Thats cool, you just go at night instead. So your birthday comes around, no gift. Your anniversary, no gift. Christmas, no gift. Now you get a little concerned..but that is not the true meaning of Christmas anyway right? Or fellas, what if she was Muslim and your mama raised you on fat back for breakfast and fried chops for dinner. Could you sacrifice the hog? What if he wants to go to Sunday service, but you rather relax and sleep late, for God's sake you have to get up early every other day! Differences...

I was raised Baptist. I've been a church member since the age of 7. So a man that is "equally yoked" is important to me. That was one of the things I looked for in a mate. He had to not only know the Lord, but love him and humble himself to him, just like I do. No if, and, or buts about it.

Its not just the diffrence in religion. Its also the no religion hang-up that would get to me. I can't pray him into heaven, so what's the use? So to sum it up, he has to be my spiritual equal. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting down anyone's beliefs or telling them their beliefs are wrong. I am just talking about my own situation. I don't think it is a good idea to ignore the religious background of your partner until its time to plan your wedding ceremony. I don't think it is fair to go into a relationship trying to "convert" your mate. I do believe you should tell them your beliefs up front, be open and honest with them. Maybe you can lead them to finding the faith they have been searching for. Don't go into it with the attitude of "fixing" them. Maybe they do not feel they are broken.

So weigh in...does religious preference matter to you in a relationship? How far do you bend your faith for the "perfect" mate?

Distant Lover...

I guess you wonder where I've been
I searched to find a love within
I came back to let you know
Got a thing for you and I can't let go

My friends wonder what is wrong with me
Well I'm in a daze from your love, you see
I came back to let you know
Got a thing for you and I can't let go

Some people go around the world for love
But they may never find what they dream of
What you won't do, do for love
You've tried everything but you don't give up
In my world only you makes me do
For love what I would not do

- Bobby Caldwell "What You Won't Do for Love "

I know two women who have been in relationships for over 10 years. And most of the ten years, they have basically been alone raising children. One is the wife of a soldier, the other is the wife of an inmate...

I think it was Tupac that sensationalized the joys of having a "ride or die" chick. Someone who has your back through thick and thin. In Me and My Girlfriend he states, "All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend. Down to ride to the bloody end, just me and my girlfriend." More and more, women are becoming Bonnies, to a man's Clyde. I know two women, who had two very different scenarios play out to the same beginning. One girl lived the fast life, she knew her man was selling drugs and even though she did not partake of his activities, she damn sure reaped the benefits! When the police came for him, there she was in the car and she went down with him on an accessory charge. When asked to cooperate, she refused to snitch on her man. Where did that get her? A minimum of 10 years. The other lady, had a man who got caught up and went to jail on a drug charge, also. She didn't go down with him, but she waited on him. Years after he went to jail, she had his son, moved into a nice home and they are getting married next weekend. I guess her waiting paid off. In either circumstance, I don't think it could be me.

What about the soldier's wife? Thanks to Good Ol' George W. she has been alone since a month after her wedding in 2002. They don't have any kids. She loves him, but doesn't really know him anymore. She misses companionship. She refuses to get a "side dig" and still devotes her every minute to being a great wife. I really admire her. Yet again though, couldn't be me.

To me companionship is so important. I need to be able to love you, talk to you, touch you. See your face, hear your voice when I want. Maybe that's why me and long distance relationships never worked. More than love is needed with me.

So weigh in...how far would you go to stand by your man/woman? When is love not enough anymore? Could you hold it down through jail sentences? Tours of Duty? Waiting on him/her to leave his/her spouse? Have you ever stood by a person you loved even when you knew it was against your better judgment? Share...

A Fair Affair

No matter what I do,
All I think about is you,
even when I'm with my boo,
Ya know I'm crazy over you

Uh-uh-uh-uh
I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me
And(uh) she got the hots for me, the finest thing i'd ever seen
But oh, no, no, she's got a man and a son doh'ohh
But that's o.k. cause I, wait for my cue and just listen, play my position like
a short stop, pick up everything mommy hittin
And in no time, i'm gonna make this one mine
And that's for sure
Cause I, I've never been the type to break-up a happy home
But(uh) somethin' bout baby gurl, I just can't leave alone

- Nelly "Dilemma"

Well...it's Controversy Thursday" as I like to call it. We have to make up for yesterday. So...we all remember the topic "Confessions" from last month...I mean how could we ever forget the 105 postings! As I look back over those comments, I noted that about 75% of the confessions dealt with cheating on a boyfriend or a spouse. So today, I wanna talk about just that, cheating.

Webster's defines intransitive cheating as the following:

1 a : to practice fraud or trickery b : to violate rules dishonestly (as at cards or on an examination)
2 : to be sexually unfaithful -- usually used with on

I think these definitions, especially the second, are way to general. Is cheating just a sexual thing? I don't think so. I think there is physical cheating and then I think there is emotional cheating. Physical cheating is easy to determine. Holding hands with someone else, kissing someone else, having sex with someone else. In my opinion, all that is cheating. Some people believe that if there is no emotion involved, then its not cheating. Some people believe it is all about whether or not you hide it from you significant other.

Now emotional cheating. That is a whole different story. This is a gray area. I think if you fall in love with someone else, whether or not you express it to the "third" person, its cheating. Just because you are not giving your significant other your all. The early signs of emotional cheating are very subtle. You begin to think about this person more and more. You hide the fact that you converse with them from your significant other, whether it is verbal, email, instant message or text message. You begin to share things that go on in your life with that person before your significant even finds out. You can't wait to talk to them, you have anticipation for them.

Of course, this is all my opinion.

And then you have the "other" sex. Is cyber sex cheating? Is phone sex cheating? What about text sex? Swinging? Open relationships? Oral Sex? Ohhh, and what about prostitution? I heard someone say it was just an internal massage and you pay for a body massage....lol! There are so many "but" and "if" clauses.

So weigh in...when is it cheating? What is the minimum deception?

He Take my money

My apologies. Today's blog topic was removed because someone was offended. We'll try again tomorrow.

Dem Rude Boys

We like dem boys that be in them lac's leanin' (Leanin')
Open their mouth their grill gleamin' (Gleamin')
Candy paint, keep that whip clean and (Clean and)
(They always be talkin that country slang, we like)
They keep that beat that be in the back beatin' (Beatin')
Eyes be so low from that chief (chief and)
I love how he keep my body screamin' (Screamin')
A rude boy that's good to me, wit street credibility

If your status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he lookin' at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Known to carry big things
If you know what I mean
If your status ain't hood
I ain't checkin' for him
Betta be street if he looking at me
I need a soldier
That ain't scared to stand up for me
Gotta know to get dough
And he betta be street

-Destiny's Child "Soldier"

Why do we love the bad boys? What is it about those street wise cats that we can't get enough of?

I have a friend, ya'll remember "Boomerang" right? Well he finally cut that silly chick out of his life and is trying to move on. So he went to the club this weekend and tried to get over her. But he ran into a roadblock. The first chick at the club dissed him. And she messed it up for him and his attitude for the rest of the night. He said he realized that all of the women in there were not trying to meet men. Just hanging out in their own little circles amongst their girls. Now he's a nice guy, pretty decent looking, has a job, and his own home. So he doesn't understand why he can't get no play.

My answer...us women are a little warped these days. Its really no secret that the dope boys are in, and that's just not him. I mean he used to be, but now? Nah. What is it about corn rows, tattoos, the red eyes (from that good stuff) and a no-nonsense attitude that we love? Its the Thug Appeal. Allen Iverson has it, T.I. has it, Ice Cube has it. No one thinks Kanye West and his prep style is sexy. We think he's gay as hell!



I think it is all about their confidence. They make decisions, if you don't like them..tough shit, deal with it. They know who they are and what they want. A woman likes that security. A protector. The sense of adventure is like no other. And that good thug loving...lets leave that one alone. Bad boys, rebels, do their own thing.

In all actuality, I couldn't end up with a guy like this though. We would fight like hell day and night. I'm too spoiled and stubborn, just like they are. Thank God, I ended you with a good guy who spoils me to death. But don't get me wrong, he can get a lil rowdy when he needs to!

Please help my boy out, again. Weigh in...why do you think women want the thugged out men? Are nice guys boring? Why do the nice guys finish last? Or do they?

I Ain't Mad at Ya

Now we was once two niggaz of the same kind
Quick to holla at a hoochie with the same line
You was just a little smaller but you still roller
Got stretched to Y.A. and hit the hood swoll
Member when you had a jheri curl didn't quite learn
On the block, witcha glock, trippin off sherm
Collect calls to the till, sayin how ya changed
Oh you a Muslim now, no more dope game
Heard you might be comin home, just got bail
Wanna go to the Mosque, don't wanna chase tail
It seems I lost my little homie he's a changed man
Hit the pen and now no sinnin is the game plan
When I talk about money all you see is the struggle
When I tell you I'm livin large you tell me it's trouble
I ain't, mad, at cha (I ain't mad at cha)
I ain't, mad, at cha

- Tupac Shakur "I Ain't Made at Cha"

I was having drinks with a group of my very best friends Saturday night. It was me, Scorpia, Evilena, Lily, and $.25. We were celebrating Evilena's new home purchase. Lovely home by the way! So over the course of the night, as we sat around sipping wine and appletinis, we got into this discussion about morals and friendships. This conversation has been on my mind ever since.

So, let's talk about it. All of us that were present are Christians. Yeah, we are all in different places in our walk with the Lord. We all love the Lord and try to do the right things in life, even though, we all fall short. But its just not us, everyone falls short in the eyes of the Lord. So we were discussing, our morals as they pertain to our relationships with other people.

For example, lets say you have a friend that is gay. Most Christians believe that homosexuality is wrong; however, this is your friend. A loved one. Do you keep on being his/her friend and ignore their sexual preferences? Do you try to get them on the right track and explain that it is wrong? Or do you just walk away from the friendship because you don't want to condone the behavior? Not in God's eyes nor your peers. Or lets say you used to participate in a negative behavior, such as sniffing cocaine, but now you are clean and sober. What happens when your friend pulls it out in front of you and decides to get high himself? This is a situation where I would say definitely drop the friend. But sometimes its just not that easy. Can his behavior wrongly influence you? These are just a couple of examples. There are many more instances in our daily life.

This also works in the opposite direction. There have been people that found out things about me, and then because they no longer participated in the negative behaviors, they began to judge me. Say you were a smoker, you quit, and now you go around telling people how bad it is to smoke, and making them feel as if they are bad people just because they smoke. Even though your intentions may be good, you are still judging and making others feel as if they are beneath you.

My answer is to love everyone. Share with them your opinions. Do not hide your feelings or condone irresponsible behavior to save a friendship. Express yourself and discuss the issue. It is not on you whether or not they change, but at least you told them how you feel. The Lord knows your heart and that you had good intentions. The rest is up to them.

So weigh in...what do you do when you disagree with a friend or a loved one's personal decisions? Or have you ever had someone flip out on you because they had been "reformed" and you are still struggling with bad habits? How do you handle either of these situations?

Just My Imagination

But it was just my imagination -- once again --
running away with me.
I tell you it was just my imagination
running away with me...

Every night, on my knees I pray,
"Dear Lord, hear my plea...
don't ever let another take her love from me
or I will surely die.."
Ooh, her love is heavenly;
when her arms enfold me,
I hear a tender rhapsody...
but in reality, she doesn't even know me
- The Temptations "Just My Imagination"

Boris, LL, Denzel...we all know them by their first names. They are like black man royalty to us women. Women dream of these men night after night, while these men go home to their wives. They get tons of fan mail, panties thrown at them, women constantly clawing at them and calling their names. Don't you ever wonder what its like to be their wives? The same thing goes for Halle, J-lo, and Beyonce. Men would give the world for a night with either of them.

Now I love LL. I am one of his biggest fans, but these days he is beginning to look a little old. I mean for God sakes, he has terrible crows feet. Botox baby, Botox. But with those sexy lips, he is still the man. But if I didn't have the best husband in the world, I would do my best to hook up with that other man of my dreams, Dwayne Johnson. Now I know what you're thinking. Who in the hell is Dwayne Johnson, his name sounds like Ray Ray's little cousin from the southside. But trust me, you know him...you just know him by a different name. Most people call him "The Rock".


"Can you smelllllll, what the Rock is cooking!" Hell yeah. I smell it, its called pure sexiness. He has attitude and charisma. He has "that" smile coupled with "those" abs. And most of all he is funny. And funny seals the deal. My whole life I have grown up watching wrestling and football. I am the only child of a man that is fanatical about both sports. So in Dwayne Johnson, I get the best of both worlds. An Ex-Miami Hurricane...who made a fortune with the then WWF. It doesn't get any better than that.


My runner-up...Vin Diesel. Yet again, "those" abs..."that" smile. And damn it, his voice! Have you seen Fast and Furious or XXX? He is bad as hell. If Vin is French for wine, I'm ready to get drunk. Of course I will never meet either guy. But sometimes its fun to pretend, right!

So weigh in...if you were not currently in a relationship, and you could have anyone in the whole world as your guy or girl, who would it be? Why would this person be your dream date?


Disclaimer
The confessions expressed on the blog are that of the individual telling his/her business. Nothing will be used against anyone at a later date, for argument purposes with a significant other. This is just a hypothetical question. I don't want to be breaking up no happy homes.I am tired of everyone posting anonymous...you guys know you can select "other" and put your name with your comments, right? lol...everyone can innocently post on this topic.

Power Ballin' for Sinners

Money money money money, money
Some people got to have it
Some people really need it
Listen to me y'all, do things, do things, do bad things with it
You wanna do things, do things, do things, good things with it
Talk about cash money, money
Talk about cash money- dollar bills, yall
-O'Jays "For The Love of Money"

You know, I love writing this blog. Mostly because it helps me and other folk deal with issues we have going on in our lives. I get to ask everyone else what their opinions are, and I love the great responses. So here is tonight's dilemma. I love to gamble. The thrill of it sends me on a high. Las Vegas is one of my favorite cities on Earth. Roulette is my game. The roll of the ball. The chance of red or black, odd or even, or that one magic number. Nothing beats putting $20 on the table and walking away with $200 in less than ten minutes.

I'm from Virginia, the Commonwealth State, emphasis on wealth. We have had the lottery in Virginia for over ten years, and because of it we have great schools and smooth roads. When I turned 18, I bought a ticket for Mega Millions and a couple scratch offs. I never played again much after that while I lived there; however, since I have lived in North Carolina, I play the "big game", Mega Millions, everytime I go home. Now, scratch offs and Pick 3-4-5 are not my thing, the lottery is not my thing. I think its just the fact of knowing that I can't play in NC that makes me get a ticket everytime I go to VA. I have yet to play the NC Educational Lottery. I am not interested at all. I will be in line for my first ticket when I see the words "Power Ball" on the convenience store door. I am interested in the big money. The retirement funds. The "man, I didn't know I had so many cousins" money. The "kiss my ass I'm not coming back to work" money.

With that being said, I know gambling is wrong. It is frowned upon in the Baptist church. Although, the Catholics can get a game of bingo up with the quickness! I am a Christian woman, and I try to live my life as best as I can. We all know the walk with the Lord can be a trying one. Lottery winnings seem to be a torn issue in the church. What do you do if you should ever win big? We all know we are supposed to be paying 10% of our income in tithes. Some churches welcome the blessings the Lord has sent. Other churches refuse to accept "dirty" money. I have always wondered the same thing about money obtained illegally...drug money, stolen money. Hhhmmm

So weigh in...is it okay for us Christians to play the lottery as long as we play our 10% tithes? Is it a blessing from the Lord to win?

2 inches or a yard?

2 inches or a yard rock hard or if it's saggin'
-TLC "Ain't 2 Proud Beg"

Bet your man won't do it like that
Can't work the middle 'cause his thing too little
- Diddy in Lil Kim's "No Time"

or do you remember this one...

Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man
What in the world is that thing?
Do you need some tweezers to put that thing away
Isn't that cute an extra belly button
You need to put your pants back on honey
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
- 20 Fingers "Short Dick Man"

This one is going out to all of my male readers. Once a week I like to pick a topic that the males really wanna know about and that the females are not afraid to discuss. So today we concentrate on that age old question. Does size really matter? And you all know what size I'm speaking of...penis, peter, dick, lil man, one-eyed monster, conan, willie, johnson...whatever you want to call it. Quality versus Quantity. Which means more?

Now in my opinion. Size is not an issue. I care more about his rhythm. The best sex I ever had was with a guy that has an average dick. Nothing spectacular, just the basic plumbing. It was all about the movements. It was about him taking the time to know my body, to know what I like and work from there. A man does not have to be incredibly large down there to find a g-spot. Personally I don't want 12 inches, that shit would hurt! Don't you think? And I would be even more pissed if he all that to work with and had no rhythm. I don't want no man doing the "Carlton Dance" inside of me, lol. All off-beat and uncoordinated.

At the same time, no woman wants a man she can't feel at all. Here are some indications that you are too little and should consider medical enhancements...

1) If she says "go ahead, put it in" and you have been in it for a while...
2) She giggles when she sees it...
3) If the condom is baggy...
4) If you are constantly telling women "man it's cold in here"...
5) If a woman has every nicknamed you Tiny, Pinky, Pee Wee, or my all time favorite, Baby Nuts...

Here is some insight for you guys...no woman is going to think she is too loose, just that you are too small. Trust me on this one. Now you may know she has been around, and she may know it too, but she is always gonna think you are not working with much. Don't take it personally. I have never understood why men waste so much time worrying about their size. Why do they secretly peep out the competition in the bathroom or locker room? We don't compare boob size, if anything...I tell folks they are smaller than they really are.

So weigh in...does size really matter to you? Length or girth? Why are men so self conscious about the size of their dicks? Men, please help us understand. Does size measure how much of a "stud" you are? I know everyone has an opinion on this topic, male and female, so I wanna hear from you!

Lipstick Traces...

Maxine was 5'9", had a man she didn't mind
Walked up to me nice and slow
What she wanted I did not know
Gave me her pager number and said call her anytime
Then she whispered in my ear, she said

My body wants you so
For what I miss at home
Nobody has to know
Keep it on the down low

-Brian McKnight "On the Down Low"

A friend of mine is a gay man. He dates a man that has a girlfriend and a baby mama. Neither women know that this man is seeing my gay friend on the side. They are too busy fighting each other. I mean they go to each others' jobs and fight, fight at the mall, fight at the kid's school, all the while my friend is the one really seeing this guy hot and heavy. He is a down-low brother. He is what my friend calls "trade". A man who doesn't think they are gay, continues to date women, while sexing other men like crazy, but only as the giver, never as the receiver. A very masculine "top". Trade.

Over the past few years, we have all heard stories of the down-low brother. The author J.L. King has made this term a household word with his book "On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of "Straight" Black Men Who Sleep with Men". He has been on Oprah, Larry King, and Dateline discussing his down-low life. While we watched and gasped in shock, I think we were missing something else brewing on the back burner. We completely missed the movement of down-low sistas. Yeah, the women, the ladies, the sistas.

Now once upon a time, you would only see two woman together in pornographic movies or magazines. Two "Barbie-Doll" lesbians put together to excite men. Nine times out of ten, in real life these women were just as straight as you and I. It seems all men want to see women kissing and fondling each other, it turns them on. The beginning of a threesome, I guess that's why it is tantalizing to them. Bottom line, it sells an image. Kinky sex sells and men would buy it up.

So why is it now that more women are turning to other women for sexual pleasure? Not only that, but why is it the "straight" women? I think the term for it is the "unexpected lesbian". Have you noticed the increase in "bi" women? I think most of these women are really on the down low, but want to still be associated with men in some way. Maybe they want children, but not the husband. Instead of breaking the mold, they marry these men, all while secretly desiring women in their lives. Their friends, their coworkers, or their church members. These women are mothers, wives, girlfriends, sorority sisters, mentors, you name it. They are finding time to dip out of their normal lives to find the passion they really want. Sounds weird to us huh? Well let's all remember, we don't judge around here.

Someone told me that you have never had an experience unless you have had oral stimulation from another woman, that there is nothing like it. Well, I'll take her word for it, because I'm gonna have to pass. I have been hit on by several women in my time. And although very flattering, I keeps it strictly dickly. My motto is "if you can't stick it, after you lick it, forget it". I love men, of all kinds. Personally, I can't see what two women can do for each other, but that's just me. My thing is men, I love them.

No matter what you prefer, I think you should be true to you. Do you, live for you. If you wanna be a Vito, be the best Vito you can be! (A little Sopranos joke for all you Sop heads)

So weigh in...do you think these down low women exist? Have you ever had a down low encounter? If so, how was it for you? What are these people so ashamed of?

Get Your Broom Ready!

Your always on the telephone puttin down on someone else
You need to take a little time, stop, look in the mirror and
check your self. We all have sins that come short from Gods
glory today, So we don't have time to spread hearsay

Sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around mine
Sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around mine

Put love in your heart where there is hate, you need to clean it up
I wouldn't let it be said I waited to late, clean it up, stop going around
talking about your friends, Don't you know that that's a sin
How can you critize some one else when you are doing wrong yourself.
Be careful how you through stones, because it might break up somebody's
home

- The Williams Brother "Sweep Around Your Own Front Door"

Well, well, well. I think its about time to tell some folks just what I think about them. I tried to be nice, but you know what, that approach didn't work. So looky here, let me break some shit down for you. As many of you know, I have a side business. I do in-home Passion Parties. Basically its an in-home party where I sell things to enhance "intimacy". Whether its massage oils, body wash, lingerie, or adult toys...I sell it. Now since I've started, I've had a few people act really funny towards me, like what I am doing is disgusting and disgraceful. Even though what I'm doing is mostly educational, and I'm helping alot of marriages out. So let me put it out here plainly for the haters...

1) I like what I do.
2) You don't pay my bills.
3) Maybe you would have a man if you came to one of my parties.
4) Maybe your man would be a little more into you if you spiced it up some.
5) Maybe he would get out of my other girls' faces.
6) Don't you have anything better to do than talk shit about my behind my back?
7) If you gonna talk, make sure you talk to someone who is not gonna come back and tell me.
8) Ooops, you forgot about her huh? We been friends a long time!
9) Neither Joyce, Sam, nor Ali have an issue with it...so I really don't give a rats ass what you think.
10) Go ahead and hate me...I'm loving this! Jealousy is just another form of flattery!

I used to be the person who cared about every little thing that people said. I used to be the person who lived her life to everyone else's standards. I used to inhibit myself because I thought if people knew the real me, they wouldn't like me anymore. I thought they would talk about me behind my back. Well guess what, people are going to do it anyway. But here is the thing, we all have skeletons, but most of these folks, who are always ready judge the next person, have graveyards in their closets. Have you ever noticed that?

I think people feel comfortable talking to me so much because I try not to judge. I tend to be the resident Dear Abby of all my friends. It takes so much for anyone or anything to shock me. I have seen it all, heard it all, lived it all. I have done so much wrong in my life, I can never ever ever throw stones at anyone else. God is our only judge, not Mrs. "So and So", not Deacon Blah Blah, not Dr. Waa Waa, not Mz Cane.

Lets see what else can I help all of you with that are whispering? Yeah, I was a month pregnant before I was married, we all know you can add. Yeah, I used to party hard with Mary Jane. Yeah, we can afford the house, we work hard. Yeah, I have friends that are gay, bi, weedheads, and gold-diggers! But not one of you better ever say anything bad about any of them, if you do, you better hope it doesn't get back to me! And most of all, yes, I do LOVE the Lord with all my heart.

So here is the thing, if you feeling funny right now, then I'm probably talking about you. Sweetie, you are not perfect. Sorry to inform you, but I think you should know now, before someone really hurts your feelings.

Damn that felt good! So lets weigh in...do you know about anyone who has talked smack about you? What about that has judged you with the quickness? Would you like to tell them a thing or two? Go ahead...let them have it! Tell them what you think...right here, right now.

Put it on Me...

You don't know
What you do to me
Let me tell ya
How ya make me feel
I need yo lovin'
It's so good to me
I can't even sleep
Boy, you got me weak
My heart is on fire since you put that thang on me, ooh
You put that thang on me, that thang, baby

I just can't understand, I can't understand
You got me lookin' so crazy, baby
You got me lookin' so crazy right now
Make me wanna clap my hands
Make me wanna stomp my feet
Make me feel real, real good
When you put that thang on me
Let me tell you now

-- Faith Evans "Mesmerized"

So I was at dinner with the girls; The Card Player, Ms. Cabo Wabo, Anne Frank, The Dog's fiancee and Scrunchy. So Scrunchy takes two bites of her food and says "I need a to-go box, Check Please". We were like damn...where you going, we just got here. She proceeded to tell us that she had some "stuff" waiting on her. Stuff that was so good she said it made her insides "scrunch". Stuff so good it felt like her insides were pushed and moved all around...in a good way. I am saying, this chick didn't even eat her food, in anticipation of this body scrunching stuff! So I sat there and thought to myself "Damn, is there any D worth missing a meal? D good enough to set my liquor down? D good enough to make me walk out on the girls?"

Hhhmmm... Well, I must say,there is one...one D I would do all that for. According to Dictionary.com, one of the definitions of whipped is "To conquer; to defeat, as in a contest or game; to beat; to surpass." I will admit, I have been beat at the game. He has surpassed me, he definitely has whip appeal. Why you ask? Well, its everything. He's sexy, he's smart. His smile, his pretty brown eyes...even the tattoo on his arm, all are factors in him having me just where he wants me. In order to be whipped, the other person has to know what you like, where you like it, how you like it, when you like it. This is not as easy as it seems. However, he has had much practice "learning" me. I thank him for paying attention to my needs. I thank him for making note of what I like. I thank him for turning me out.

What exactly did he do? What was the signature move that got me hooked? lol...he kissed me. Slowly, passionately, with so much emotion. He took me to another place all with a single kiss. He holds my hand, he wraps his arm around me when I sleep (gotta love the spooning), and did I mention that kiss! He touches the side of my face when we kiss! That is the sexiest damn thing. A man who can express how he feels without saying one word. I'm hooked.

Since I know just how much you all like to tell your business, lets talk about it. Have you ever been turned you out? How did he/she put it on you? We might learn some stuff from each other! lol...Is it a signature move that he/she does? Or is it just who they are?

Disclaimer
The confessions expressed on the blog are that of the individual telling his/her business. We will not try to figure out who you are or try to determine if you are as crazy as you seem.

Put it on My Tab...

But I ain't even gon act holier than thou
Cause fuck it, I went to Jacob with 25 thou
Before I had a house and I'd do it again
Cause I wanna be on 106 and Park pushing a Benz
I wanna act ballerific like it's all terrific
I got a couple past due bills, I won't get specific
I got a problem with spending before I get it
We all self conscious I'm just the first to admit it

-Kanye West "All Falls Down"

Ok, so lets start today with a poll. How many of us have credit card debt in the thousands and have no earthly idea what in the hell we bought over the years that cost so much? Me! *I am raising my hand.* Why in the world do we insist on going into debt, voluntarily? Black folks especially have a problem with spending (And maybe you do too Kelisha..because you have "colored tendencies"). We are obsessed with the bling. Obsessed with keeping up with the Jonses (yes, Peggy and Phil)!

When I was in high school, I worked at FootLocker for three years. I could always tell when it was the first of the month, because business would double. It would be young black mothers and fathers in there spending up there checks to get their four month old a pair of $60 Jordans to match the ones they had just paid $170 for. When I became a mother and noticed how fast children grew out of clothes, I just could not justify spending a lot on a child's shoes or clothing. Now, don't get me wrong, my children still dress cute, but Target's clothes are just as cute Baby Gap.

We will spend spend spend to maintain an image we can't really support. Why? Most of us want will take our money and buy luxury cars or big ass houses, but won't invest a dollar in our children's education or in our own futures. We will ride around in the hottest cars, rocking the hottest clothes, wearing the flyest jewelry, and go into an apartment, with no lights and no food in the refrigerator. We throw away money for years renting homes instead of taking the time to buy a home. Houses are investments. They help on your taxes. Its ok to get house and not have any furniture, you will make a return on the house...not what's in it.

Its a damn shame that Colortyme and other rent-to-own places are mostly located in our neighborhoods. They make a killing on paying discount rates on items and renting them to us for four times what they paid plus interest. You can rent to own rims now...rims! Rent to own engagement rings, don't start your wedding out in debt. Have you also noticed where are the "Check-n-Go"s are? Uh huh, beside Aaron Rents...

Its not really our fault. Most of us a second and third generation wasters. I have learned the hard way, but nevertheless I have learned. Here is a secret, any of us can afford anything we want if we save. I refuse to run my debt up, for something I don't need immediately, you know food, water, or shelter... Clothes, cars, liquor, jewelry. We will pary every weekend, and wake up in our mama's basement and let her cook us some breakfast. Selling ourselves short for an image. Have you seen how Bill Gates dresses? lol..he is the richest man in the world.

So weigh in...what do you think? To buy or not to buy..on credit that is. Are you guilt of this? I know I am! What advice do you have?

Techno Pimpin'

I'm comin straight up outta that chatroom, and live from the message board
I'm at the crib all by myself, chattin online when I'm bored
Oh my Lord, BlackPlanet got all the {hoes} and all the freaks
I'll get your page and send a note, then hit me back when it's time to creep
...
Hit me up on that AOL, Instant Messenger what it do
My DSL is fast as lightning on the hunt for this mooshu
You got some partners that's just like you? Call your crew and I'll call mine too
Just take a look at my hit count, this internet pimpin thang ain't new

- Paul Wall "Internet Going Nutz"

In this age of technology, it is possible to do everything over the internet. You can shop, bank, trade stocks, play games, and research just about anything. But the most fascinating thing you can do online is date. Ten years ago, who would have thought that you would be able to meet, flirt, and date people online without having to ever meet them face to face. More and more websites catering to the online dating community are popping up everyday. E-Harmony, Match.com, Webdate... And then there are those websites that cater to "hook-ups" even though they claim to be communities for all activity. MySpace, BlackPlanet, Facebook...

I must admit, at one time I was on BlackPlanet, chatting it up and having a ball. I had a plethora of friends that I could talk to day or night. Alot of folks on BP were there for something other than "casual friendships" so I had to part ways. Now not everybody was a low-life, I met a few folks on BP that I am still friends with to this day. Shout out to those of you reading this blog... I like to call them my "Sports Boys" because that's how it all began, chit chatting about football in October 2004.

Enough about me...lets talk about this internet dating thing. My guess is the relationship goes something like this. You see the profile online, obviously you see something that interests you. So you send a quick hello to the screenname they have listed. They chat back. And so back and forth you go, flirting vicariously. So you stop sending "notes" on the dating site, and you invite them into the world of instant messaging. Pretty soon you talk whenever you both are online, then that's not enough so you exchange numbers. Now here is where the tricky part comes, after you talk on the phone...do you chance meeting face to face? Hhhhmmm...

This is where things have the potential to get a little sticky, but where you get to find out the person's true intentions. Either they are really into you and they want to take it to the next level or they may like you but the next level depends on what you look like or they just wanted to bone you from jump. Its all game of chance. In Paul Wall's song "Internet Going Nutz" he says

"She e-mailed me this old picture before she had her baby boy
I was ready to pay her a visit, she used to look like Ke-Toi
But, one too many Almond Joys, I went and seen this girl in person
But when that big {chick} opened the door I damn near started cryin and cursin"

lol...Has that ever happened to any of you? How do you know they didn't send you someone else's picture or an old old picture? The funny part is that after he meets the girl and she's not what she seems he says

"What the hell, the first minute I got in range of the nearest Dell
I changed my screenname and my number, this internet pimpin still prevails"

Techno pimpin' at its finest...

How do you know they are not stalkers? Everyone you meet online is not who they claim to be, its dangerous game to play at times.

Ok, weigh in...do you believe in internet dating and its endless opportunities? If so, when is the right time to chance a face to face. Or is internet dating just a quicker way to pick up "booty calls"? I know several of you have met folks online, share your fairy tales or your terrors with us! And yeah, if u have a "booty call" story about that one night when you met a stranger, post anonymously!

*Please Note - The term "Techno Pimpin' " is copyrighted material that I took from my very very best internet friend, so don't go stealing his shit...*

Sweet Sweet Mary Jane...

Damn Ma,
I love you like the lah, the ganja
Sensimilla, can I feel ya
All I wanna do is touch ya
The ultimate rush, you're drugs baby

- Notorious B.I.G.

My parents raised a good girl. Good grades, good citizen. Never got into fights, never showed out in class, respected my elders, and never ever used drugs. We were a clean cut middle class family. I admit, I was a poster child for D.A.R.E (Drug Abuse Resistance Education, yeah I know what it stands for!) when I was in high school. Then came college. I took a firm stand against drug abuse, even though I could smell it walking to class everyday, at sporting events, concerts, and in my dorm. I thought the drug kids were no good flunkies that would never amount to shit!

So there was this guy I liked. He was perfect. He was cool, he was sexy, he was fine..all that, then I found out he smoked weed. What a freaking waste...of course the inevitable happened. One night before a basketball he said, "C'mon Candee, just try it this once". Me and my best friend, sitting in a sweet pickles van taking a puff for the first time! (Do you remember that CEB?) After that I just did it every now and then, it didn't do much for me so I kept my distance. I graduated, moved to Raleigh and started my very mature "grown up" life. While all the junkies were still acting like children to me. Then someone else very special to me gave me some of that good marijuana..man..damn..why did he do that! I had graduated from college, landed a great job (that didn't drug test)..and I was loving the lah! Then its like I justified doing it! Just like they taught me not to do in DARE. Everyone else was..why shouldn't I. It was healthier than cigarettes!

My eyes were open to everything. I smelled it more, saw it more, knew the different types, and realized every rap song was talking about it! Jay-Z said "I'm feelin it through the high that you get from the lye. Feelin it if you feel it raise your l in the sky." Dr. Dre had a whole album called the Chronic. It did so well there was a Part II! And Big Boi and his cohorts are still talking about being on that Kryptonite. Now anyone who knows me, knows I love some Rick James..and Rick wrote a whole song about it..."I'm in love with Mary Jane. She's my main thing." Then there was De'Aneglo. I thought the song Brown Sugar was about a girl he was into! The whole song was about smoking weed! Whoa..blew my mind. Check it out here.


Now that I am a mom and a career woman, I can't do that like I used to. But don't get it twisted, if corporate America was not peeping over its shoulder for every little thing, I would puff at least once a week when the kids were gone and have a nice stiff drink to chase the smoke down. Whether you like purp, kush, haze, skunk, dro, or thai. Whether you call it hash, weed, chronic, Mary Jane, puff, or cannabis. Whether you like joints or blunts or bong...Drugs baby..the ultimate rush..

Now I know, its bad and I know I am sending the wrong message, but hopefully no youth read my blog. But you all are adults who make their own choices without peer pressure I hope. Its so natural, from the Earth...like vodka (which is made from grain or potatoes if you didn't know)! Think of how much the deficit would improve if they taxed it! So weigh in on this...is marijuana bad? If not, should it be legalized?

Who The Hell Knows....

So its Sunday night and I am sooooo drunk typing this. I am typing intoxicated and I have no idea what the hell my subject is going to be, but whatever it is..I hope I don't say too much! If I remember correctly, I had 2 shots of Patron, 1 shot of Jose Cuervo, 2 seven and sevens and an Singapore Sling. Tomorrow I have to go to work, no more maternity leave. I thought I would go out with a bang. Thanks "wives club". Shout out...Ya'll are the best! We went out tonight...yeah I went to church this morning, so it balances out. We just went to the all male revue at Thee Dollhouse. Wow...if I wasn't married...

So I watched tons of women throw tons of money at men tonight. Black men, white men,and best of all this Puerto Rican poppy named Ecstasy...I saw more money flying in there than I could ever imagine. What makes men and women give up their hard earned money for a few minutes of pleasure? Now I know you are wondering why I was there in the first place...well... I have just stared a "side hustle". I am now a Passion Party consultant(shoot me an email or call me to setup a party!!!). I deal in massage oils, edible gels, toys, lingerie, books..fun stuff! So I figured, for bachelorette party purposes....maybe I should get to know some strippers. Might be good for business. Ok, and the fact that I just wanted to go! So I went to this all male revue and got as many numbers as I could... Thanks "A" for being my lead in!

So as I sat there watching "Ecstasy", who was a fine specimen of Puerto Rican man, age 24, height around 6', weight around 175, six pack included, black baseball cap with black windsuit pants on over some tiny black boxer briefs...but who was really paying attention. He was bad as hell. I wondered what it would be like to be his girl. I wondered if he had a girl. And if he did, how does she feel knowing all these women were touching all over her man. Paying him to grind his hips into them for just a minute or two. Um um um. If he was mine, I don't think I would want anyone falling all out over him, I would ended it...quick. I'm greedy and very jealous, I would not share. Not for anything!

These brings me to our discussion points for the day. Could you be in a committed relationship with a stripper? Have you ever tried? Could you deal with your man or your woman being desired and touched all over night after night?

By the way...none of these dudes could ever mess with my hubby...he's the baddest of all. :) I see ya, Sideways.